Singlish vs English
Use Singlish. It's so much cheaper.
Why do we insist on using the Queen's English?
Singlish is so much more economical and effective?


Compare and see!


Singlish vs English
When going shopping...
Britains : I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
S'poreans: No Stock!

When returning a call...
Britains : Hello, this is Mr Bean. Did anyone page me a few moments ago?
S'poreans: Hello, who page?


When someone is in the way....
Britains : Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
S'poreans: Lai, siam! Or Siam, hor! Or Skius!


When someone offers to pay...
Britains : Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
S'poreans: no need lah


When asking for permission...
Britains : Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
S'poreans: (while pointing at door) Can pass or Not?


When asking to be excused...
Britains : If you would excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the gents/ladies. Carry on without me, it would only take a moment.
S'poreans: Go toilet. Buay tahan ahh.....


When doubting someone...
Britains : I don't recall you giving me the money.
S'poreans: Got meh?

When disagreeing on a topic of discussion...
Britains : Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the policy.
S'poreans: Talk cock lah you!

When asking someone to lower their voice...
Britains : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
S'poreans: Eh, Tiam leh!

When asking someone if he/she knows you...
Britains : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
S'poreans: See what see?! BUAY SONG AH




hahas. from an email. but its not as funny as the ones i have read before.

today was paper 1. english was coolness. i didnt know what to write and thought of dave's tom daley. hahas. it was muchmuchmuch better than chinese. chinese was crapzzzzzzz.
conversation dave just now. hahas. its so dave. pronunce da-v-e. thats the rex way.

V A N E S S A
zzz.
tht show is kinda retarded

le superglutton
ur tired?
go sleep
oh
now there'sno show

V A N E S S A
uhh?

le superglutton
u zzz so i presumed u were tired
lalal
funny ehh

V A N E S S A
err.... no
i dont get it
the show is retarded
is tht what i typed?

le superglutton
V A N E S S A says: zzz.
the show is nice lorhzzz

V A N E S S A
i did not say tht

le superglutton
=_=
wdv
anw i just downloaded it

V A N E S S A
lawls
okay..

le superglutton
this weekend so bust

V A N E S S A
really dont get the show
like ???

le superglutton
watch one tv show
pw pw pw
revi
so funn

V A N E S S A
hahas.
pw?
the presentation uhh?

le superglutton
slides
i want to do a rehersal but i siancc

V A N E S S A
yeah
idk wht we r doing nowzzzz
like dj's supposed to tell us wht we r supposed to do but... yeah
DJ :):):)
tht font colour is gay

le superglutton
orh wdv like wdvvv.
my slides rock
and my presentation would rock mor
i will be the star of the entire pw lesson

V A N E S S A
yeap, ill be thr to shootshoot

le superglutton
cos it will be so good it will blow away everyone else

V A N E S S A
phewphew
like AHHH!!!

le superglutton
ok thats so dots/

V A N E S S A
lols.

le superglutton
copier.

V A N E S S A
what copier?
photo?

le superglutton
no
interlectual property pirate
dieeee
i strike u down

V A N E S S A
shutup. knock it down
NOW!

le superglutton
shant

le superglutton
i hate you LOL not funny xDD

V A N E S S A
err.... thts not funny either

le superglutton
yea

V A N E S S A
zzz..
thrs no homework right?

le superglutton
yea should be

V A N E S S A
okay.
ohhohh, i didnt tell you
tom daley gave me my inspiration on wht to write for my eng compo
hahahahahahaha.

le superglutton
HWAT?

V A N E S S A
2f - hwating?

le superglutton
what u write about?

V A N E S S A
diving
tht i took part in the nationals diving selection

le superglutton
NUUUU

V A N E S S A
den thr was very pro person but then nvr get in but i get in

le superglutton
YOU STOLE MY TOM =((

V A N E S S A
HAHAHA
and its bcoz my dad bribed the jugdes
sth like tht

le superglutton
evil papa

V A N E S S A
i didnt knw wht to write and tot of tom

le superglutton
lucky tom is talented

V A N E S S A
haha
he saved me!!!! ahhhh
lols

le superglutton
no evil papas to deny his place

V A N E S S A
yeahyeahyeah. his packs can prove those too

le superglutton
oh yea.
ok fine
i afk now
watch office

V A N E S S A
okay
lol
im gg to watch gossip girl ltr

le superglutton
gossip girl is kinda gay
oops.
afk now

V A N E S S A
hahas


okay, thats retarded. gossipgossip. i went to tm to meet my mum and sister just now.
pissed off with idk what again. in the end i was angry at myself for haing irritating moods.
watched "swing girls" when i reached home. nice japanese shoa bot a brass band/ big band jazz.
saxaphones/ trumpets/trombones/ pianos are love. hahas.

i need to study. no, i need to sleep.
deperately. byebye.